Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
