I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
