i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.