hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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