when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
