How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
