i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
