you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
