Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
