maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
