i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
