walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
