I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize