Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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