at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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