you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize