I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
