I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize