Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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