after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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