so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
