So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Ketchup is God's man juice
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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