Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
is wine microwaveable?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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