Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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