rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
