So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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