I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
