Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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