The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
