I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
