I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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