If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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