I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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