We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
