I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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