I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize