He passed out mid-signature
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize