Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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