dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
