i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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