Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
