It's Friday. Sex?
We named our party play list daddy issues
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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