I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
