So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
