I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
