so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
