Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
