A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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