Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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