Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
