i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
