is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
