i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.