Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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