Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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