Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
