let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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