i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Randomize
