I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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