And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
